Compromise is a jerk!

Oh, crazy letter to the editor-writers, why must you tempt me so? I always feel a little guilty for mocking you, as if I were picking on the kids on the short bus. On the other hand, this particular crazy person is advocating imposing his religious beliefs on everyone, so he deserves it.

I am referring to this letter published in today's Sentinel with the headline of "Compromised values hurt America close to home." Damn dirty compromise!

Let the fisking begin:

America is losing the war, not the war on terrorism, but the war against the very soul of America. This enemy is cunning, highly intelligent and knows very well how to defeat America.

This enemy does not come at us from the outside, but from within directly attacking the core values and principles of this great nation and of its people. The very foundation that built our house and stood as a city on a hill.

Okay, so it sounds like the "enemy" here is Americans who happen to disagree with any of the views of our letter-writer. I guess that would be pretty much everyone who isn't the author of this letter. I'm pretty sure I know who will win this war.

As one who served in the military understands, to defeat one's enemy you attack the core.

This enemy is compromise, and it has been working in this country for at least 50 to 60 years now.

Oh wait, the enemy is "compromise"? How does that work? Compromise is "cunning" and "highly intelligent"? That's pretty good for an abstract concept!

Also, has compromise seriously only existed for 50 or 60 years? Didn't King Solomon propose cutting that baby in half as a compromise? Sure, they didn't go through with it, but clearly the concept was around.

Please explain your theory, sir!

The enemy of compromise could have started with one of the greatest deceptions in promoting separation of church and state. This deception has and continues to affect many Americans to compromise their core values and principles.

We as a people group, society and a nation are slowly giving over our core values and principles that our forefathers fought for and established for this great nation.

Umm... huh. Those sentences don't actually make any sense, but I think he's saying that separation of church and state is a deception? It must be a pretty good deception, since it's smack-dab in the First Amendment to the Constitution. Were the founding fathers deceived? Perhaps!

Or maybe they were the deceivers themselves! They did do an awful lot of compromising.

What else has this evil "compromise" done with its army of compromise-bots?

Compromise has taken prayer out of school.

Well, that's not really true, is it? You can pray in school all you want. You just can't force other people to pray, or to listen to you pray. But hey, if you want to pray in school, go for it!

Still, it wasn't "compromise" that removed official prayer from public schools. It was that pesky First Amendment again. Damn founding fathers!

Maybe compromise is up to no good elsewhere?

Compromise is removing the 10 Commandments from the public forum even though many of our laws are based upon them.

Which laws would those be?

I'm pretty sure having other gods before Yahweh is legal, as are making idols, using God's name in vain, doing things on the Sabbath, dishonoring your parents, committing adultery, bearing false witness (unless you're under oath), and coveting your neighbor's wife and oxen and assorted sundries.

Admittedly, murder and theft are both illegal. So that's two commandments that actually have laws related to them. Of course, murder and theft are illegal everywhere, and prohibitions against them predate the ten commandments by quite a bit. They're just sensible laws.

It's conceivable that our letter-writer is not a legal scholar. Maybe we should just move on.

Compromise gave us aborting innocent life and the acceptance of mercy killing of elders or those who are terminally sick.

Okay, at this point it's pretty clear that Mr. Crazy-Letter-Writer-Guy doesn't actually know what the word "compromise" even means. I suspect he thinks it's a synonym for "anyone I don't like," which it is not. But at least it makes the letter more coherent if we do a little mental substitution.

We have compromised the sanctity of marriage and allow people of the same sex to be married, and who knows what in the near future.

God dammit! Now he's actually using the word correctly. Jerk.

I do like that "who knows what" part. Indeed, who knows? Will fish start marrying televisions? Will clowns be encouraged to have sex on the steps in front of City Hall? Who knows, but it's probably terrible!

Further compromise is occurring within the area of underage drinking, illegal use of drugs, prostitution and gambling.

Fuck it, I don't even know what compromise means anymore. Maybe it's just shorthand for "compromises of my strict authoritarian standards."

Is this stuff still supposed to be related to Jeebus somehow? Because he pretty famously enjoyed hanging out with prostitutes, and didn't really have a lot to say about drugs or gambling.

He was way cooler than the jackass behind this letter, that's for sure!

We now see our government and judges willing to compromise these core values and our constitution as they continue to make laws that are contrary to basic moral and ethical values.

Translation: "Not violating the constitutional separation between church and state is a violation of the Constitution!"

Yep, clearly not a legal scholar.

I could go on and on with many other areas where we are compromising and diluting our values and principles and negating our constitution.

... but I'm far too drunk to do so right now. I need a nap.

Many say simply the times are changing and we should change with them.

However, I challenge you with this. It is not time that changes but people and how they think and what they want changes.

Actually, time does change. It goes forward. People change too, which is sometimes called "growth." How is this a challenge?

This very enemy is causing the American people to become selfish, arrogant and prideful.

Wait, which enemy? Change, compromise, or people you don't like? Maybe the founding fathers? I'm so confused.

As for the sun, it will always rise in the east and set in the west. Likewise with so many of our values and principles and constitution are deep rooted, they should never be compromised.

So because the Earth rotates in a certain direction, nothing should ever change? Hell of a theory you've got there, buddy. Also, you really need to stop throwing the Constitution in with your own personal biases, because I'm pretty sure most of the founding fathers would think you're a clueless asshole.

Finally, the coup de grace!

Many of you who read this may not agree, but then, why should you?

Oh, I get it! It was all just a big joke. He's making fun of people who take this kind of nonsense seriously.

Well done, sir! You had me thinking you were just another whiny theocrat, demanding that everyone follow your personal values system, and using your utter lack of understanding of the Constitution to try to give yourself some credibility.

I'm pleased to see that you are, in fact, merely a joke.

Let's have a letter-writing contest!

Okay, here's the deal.

On November 21st some douchewad going by the name of "Richard Baker" had a letter to the editor printed in the Sentinel (Google cache here).

Here it is in its entirety, but feel free to skip to the end of it.

Local resident believes House Speaker is corrupt
Editorial / Opinion
Posted: 11/21/2008 07:24:17 AM EST

I wonder if many Americans are aware of what our Speaker of the House has pulled on the public?

Nancy Pelosi's home district includes San Francisco, and Star Kist Tuna's headquarters is also located in San Francisco.

Star Kist is owned by DelMonte Foods and is a major contributor to Nancy Pelosi.

Star Kist is also the major employer in American Samoa, employing 75 percent of the workforce there.

Paul Pelosi, Nancy Pelosi's husband owns $17 million worth of Del Monte stock.

In January 2007, when the minimum wage was increased from $5.16 to $7.25, Pelosi had American Samoa exempted from the increase so Del Monte would not have to pay the higher wages.

This would make Del Monte products less expensive than their competition's.

Last week when the huge bailout bill was passed, Pelosi added an "earmark" to the final bill, adding $33 million for an "economic development credit in American Samoa."

Now remember this: Nancy Pelosi called the Bush administration "corrupt," and I guess, she, of all people should know..

Now the Big 3 car manufacturers, Ford, Chevrolet, and Chrysler are wanting billions to bail them out of their own stupidity, and many big cities are lining up with their hands out for money too.

When will this end with the government bailing out every one who gets in line for their piece of the pie with worthless paper dollars? Of course, the giant companies will have to have their "working seminars" at those posh resorts with the bailout money, and they will not be able to earn more in bonuses than last year, so apparently the normal bonuses of millions of dollars are OK.

I guess we haven't seen the end of this socialist gang in Washington yet, and all I can say is God Help America because we ain't seen nutthin yet.

Richard Baker,
Fitchburg

Total nonsense, of course. Also mostly plagiarized from a chain email. If you like, you can go ahead and compare it to the original as seen (and debunked) on Snopes here.

Okay, so one sack of lies got by the Sentinel's ace fact-checkers! Surely that couldn't happen again, could it?

Of course it could!

In December 10th's letters to the editors we find this letter, also "written" by someone by the name of Richard Baker. Since it'll get archived soon, I'll reproduce it in full here.

Again, feel free to skip to the end...

Reader says taxpayers shouldn't pay for speaker's plane
Editorial / Opinion
Posted: 12/10/2008 10:49:28 AM EST

Madame Pelosi wasn't happy with the small private jet that comes with the speaker's job, no, Madame Pelosi was aggravated that this little jet had to stop to refuel, so she ordered a big fat jet with a bedroom that could get her back to California without stopping, carry her staff, family and friends.

Nancy's big fat jet costs us, the hard working American taxpayers, thousands of gallons of fuel every week.

Since she only works three days a week, this gas guzzling jet gets fueled and she flies home to California, cost to the taxpayers of about $60,000, one way.

Unfortunately we have to pay to bring her back on Monday nights.

Cost to us is another $60,000.

That is $480,000 per month and that is an annual cost to the taxpayers of $5.7 million.

I think of the military families in this country doing without and this woman, who heads up the most do-nothing Congress in the history of this country, keeps fueling that jet while doing nothing.

Madame Pelosi wants you and I to conserve and wants us to buy smaller cars and Obama wants us to get a bicycle pump and air up our tires. And they want to talk about Sarah Palin's dress and what it cost.

What a direct slap in the face to the taxpayers. She can get away with it because no one in Washington has the guts to stand up to her.

Richard Baker
Fitchburg

Here is the Snopes page showing you the very-similar original chain email this came from and debunking this sack of lies.

So in less than three weeks we've had two letters from this one idiot that were mostly cut-and-pasted from a chain email. Both take about 5 seconds to debunk. Both were printed in the newspaper.

Additionally, my copy of the phone book does not list a "Richard Baker" in the city of Fitchburg. That may not mean anything (lots of people aren't listed), or it may mean he's not even a real person.

Obviously, the Sentinel has absolutely no quality-control or factchecking taking place on its letters to the editor.

This is bad for them, but good for us...

It's time for a contest!

Let's see who can get the most ridiculously false and idiotic letter to the editor published in the Sentinel!

Here's how to play:

1. Write a letter to the editor about your topic of choice. Make sure it's really stupid, though. Think along the lines of "B. Hussein Obama can't be presdent becase he's a Secret Muslin!", but dumber. Or just copy a wingnut chain mail. Whatever.
   Note: Sensible, intelligent, or even well-written letters to the editor may be automatically disqualified. We're looking for crazy wingnuttery only. But it still needs to pass for a real letter! It's a careful balancing act.
2. Submit it to the Sentinel here. I don't recommend using your real name unless you want everyone to think you're an idiot. Don't impersonate any real people either, though. Stay under the radar.
3. Either email it to me, or leave it as a comment on this post, but stick the word "sentineleditorialcontest" at the top of your comment so I can hold it up in moderation until after it's in the paper. Email is probably safer, because sometimes my comment system goes wonky. This step is necessary so that people don't take credit for someone else's stupid letter. I need to see the letter before it appears in the paper.
4. You can swap those two steps above if you want. It would probably make sense to wait at least a few days before trying to get your craziness into the paper anyway.
5. Watch the letters to the editor section of the Sentinel for your letter to appear.
6. When it does, laugh derisively. Also, send me a follow up email or comment mentioning it, just in case I'm not paying attention.
7. ???
8. Profit!

I think that's it.

Then maybe we can vote on everything that gets printed, and crown a winner. The prize will be nothing but bragging rights. Or maybe a t-shirt proclaiming your awesomeness. Who knows?

If I'm the only one who actually does this (and you can bet I will), then I'll just declare myself the winner and write "I AM AWESOME" on a t-shirt with a magic marker, which I will then wear while sitting on my couch.

But if even one other person does it, I become ineligible for the prize. Which means if you're the only one to do it you automatically win! So do it!

Let's say the contest ends on January 31st at some point in the future (I won't set a timetable or the terrorists would win!). So you have plenty of time to get in there. Maybe even two or three times if you're good.

That is all.

Ron Dionne is back in the newspaper!

Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod! I'm super-excited!

Everyone's favorite lovable leprechaun and sometimes mayoral candidate Ron Dionne has a letter to the editor in the most recent edition of the Fitchburg Pride!

It's a nice letter too, in which he tells Mayor Wong that she's doing great and calls some city councilors dorks (sort of). I don't really care about the content, though. I'm just happy to see him in the newspaper again.

Does this mean that 1970s Lincoln will get his wish? Maybe!

As a side note, while looking for a humorous illustration for this post, I did a google image search on "ron dionne" and discovered that I am responsible for making a picture of Mayor McCheese show up for his name.

Sorry, Ron!

Upset veteran writes confusing letter!

As I've said before, I really try not to write about the ridiculous letters to the editor that I find in the Sentinel. It's like picking on the kids in the short bus. Still, some of these letters are just so crazy that it's impossible to resist.

Today's example of that has the fantastic title of Veteran upset by gay and lesbian groups altering flag. And by "fantastic," I mean "misleading." You know how it goes.

Let's quote!

Now I have seen it all.

Not only do they burn the American flag, but on the Channel 5 News this weekend they did a special on that protest in Boston and myself and some of my fellow veterans saw the same thing: a big American glag [Sic] with the stars on it.

What? Channel 5 News burns the American flag? Why do they do that?

And what protest? And why are you offended by American glags flags with stars on them? Why do you hate the American flag, Mr. Veteran guy?

But the red and white stripes replaced with the colors of the gay and lesbian yellow green and red blue.

That's not a sentence, let alone a paragraph.

At least now we can sort of understand what he's talking about. It must have been a gay protest! And as everyone knows, gays and lesbians love "yellow green and red blue."

Huh?

Is he talking about a rainbow flag? Because if so, he's missing a few colors. Could it be that he's failing miserably in trying to describe one of these flags? Perhaps this one?


According to this, that flag apparently even predates the Gay Pride rainbow flag, and started off as more a hippie thing than a gay thing. Here's what it says (in green to differentiate it from the letter to the editor):

The canton of stars represents all of the constellations — united, or the U.S. depending on who you talk to. The stripes of many colors represent all of the tribes of the earth. The symbolism being that all of the different peoples or tribes can come together in peace and harmony. At least in a flag! And hopefully in person. The “Rainbow Family of Living Light”, also known as the “Rainbow Family” is an international, non-hierarchical, non-organized, loose-knit group of hippies.

Damn dirty hippies!

Anyway, back to our upset-but-incoherent veteran. Now we have a pretty good idea of what he's offended by, at least!

If that is not disrespectful to those soldiers who are dying for our country I don't know what the hell is.

Such language! He is clearly upset about his own ignorance of disrespectful things!

To help him, here are just a few things more disrespectful to those soldiers than some hippie/gay flag:

• Sending them to get killed in unjust wars.
• Making them jump through hoops for VA care (I guess this applies more to those who don't actually die).
• Lack of proper supplies/armor/planning that endangers them in the first place.
• Ignoring the fact that many of them actually are gay, and many more aren't homophobic assholes.
• Valuing a fucking piece of cloth over human life.

Moving on with the letter:

I am a veteran and have fought in the Vietnam War in the Marines and when I saw that flag, I was very upset.

What is going on with our country today? Then [Sic] they show things like that on television and not hardly [Sic] enough of all the good that our veterans are doing over their. [Sic]

I thought Marines were supposed to be some sort of big tough guys, not whiny little crybabies who get upset over a rainbow flag. Apparently I was wrong. Next time I meet a Marine I will be careful what I say, lest he burst into tears like a 6-year-old girl who just had her favorite doll taken away.

Channel 5 News should be ashamed of themselves for showing this flag! They upset some fragile old sissy Marine, and possibly some of his friends. Don't they know that they're supposed to pretend gay people don't exist so as not to offend idiots?

In conclusion, the person who wrote this letter was too dumb not to make fun of.

Letters to the Editor are Always Fun!

By "always" in the title up there, I of course mean "never."

Honestly, I feel sort of bad picking on people who write letters to the editor. Yeah, 95% of the time they probably deserve it because they're just totally insane, but it still feels sort of like a cheap shot to address a simple letter-writer instead of the propaganda-spewing paper itself.

But here we have an interesting case.

Obviously, people who write letters to the editor don't provide a title for the paper to use as its headline. So you can sort of tell the political inclination of the paper just by seeing how they interpret the letter. Allow me to provide an example!

In this case, here are two quotes from a recent letter to the editor in the S&E dealing with teen pregnancies. Together, they make up the majority of the letter.

Quote 1:

I think there is a larger influence at work that I have not yet heard blamed: music.

I am personally disgusted with most of the music that is on the radio.

Songs introduces sexual themes to younger and younger audiences, and so they feel ready to expirement [sic] when their parents haven't yet talked about safe sex with their children.

This part is obviously pretty dumb. It's the typical blaming of pop culture for whatever ills you perceive in society.

Presumably, the letter-writer is an older person who finds hip-hop frightening and has forgotten that the only reason most people need to engage in sex is that it's really a whole lot of fun.

It also misses that perhaps "younger and younger" children maybe shouldn't be listening to the Lords of Acid (or whatever kids listen to these days). Which is a parenting issue more than a music issue.

Quote 2 (starts right where Quote 1 ended):

Also I think with the rise in teen pregnancies comes parent paranoia. I feel, in complete disagreement with your article, that parents who continually advocate a no-sex policy with their teens -- and I'm talking older teens not 13- and 14-year-olds -- will only push their kids to have sex behind their backs.

That will only make things worse because teens will then be embarrassed to ask for birth control and condoms, because they don't feel they can talk to parents about it.

I think the best way to prevent teenage pregnancy is to be very open with your children about sex.

Now, this second part is not just larger than the first part, but it's actually pretty sensible (though starting earlier than 13 or 14 would be preferable, kids can already get pregnant at those ages). Abstinence-only education is a huge failure, any way you look at it. And being open with your children about sex is good advice.

Guess which part of this letter the Sentinel decided to focus on? The part criticizing abstinence-only sex ed?

Here's the letter: Reader: Popular music to blame for teen pregnancy increase.

I guess what I'm getting at is that if you write a letter to the editor expressing criticism of a policy that the editor endorses, stick to just that topic. If you mix in anything else, it's going to get the headline. Especially if it's crazy.

New species of Letter to the Editor writer discovered!

We humans are pattern-seeking animals. One could argue that we're driven by our very genes to create taxonomies.

This doesn't just apply to science, of course. We do it with everything, sometimes without even realizing it.

For instance, I've developed an informal taxonomy of people who write letters to the editor. Most of them fit into certain groups pretty easily.

There are the confusingly whiny ones, the ones that are hilariously ignorant concerning the very topic about which they're writing, the religious proselytizers, the ones who predict some sort of apocalypse, people who talk foolishly about the "founding fathers," people who have personal grudges against some elected official (or the very concept of government itself, sometimes), and so forth.

There are other species too, but I mention these specifically because they generally fit into the genus of "people who can't write worth a damn."

Well, today is an exciting day!

I've discovered a letter/editorial thing with the lackluster title of Library budget cuts will have long-term implications in the S&E. This title was no doubt assigned by the paper, because surely the author did not pick such an uninspiring title! Regardless of the poor title, it introduces a species that's rarely seen in the wild, and may in fact be a new one altogether!

The species in question is the poetic-and-literate-apocalypse-
predictor-who-also-mentioned-the-founding-fathers-at-some-point. Witness the awesomeness!

Every once in a while, if we are fortunate to have the favor of divine providence, we find a fellow citizen amongst us who has a truly brilliant and beautiful mind.

I am writing about those citizens in our Republic who help make us be much better than we truly deserve to be.

[...]

The only thing I know for certain about these people is that their brilliant minds were all shaped by reading. Such is the supremacy of books.

There is no greater method of empowering people than to give them the gift of literacy.

Literacy inoculates our Republic from the tyrannies of ignorance and conformity. Our founding fathers knew the importance of literacy and the need for our democracy to have public lending libraries.

Nobody can honestly tell me that a line like "Literacy inoculates our Republic from the tyrannies of ignorance and conformity." is not utterly awesome. You can tell me it's not true (and I'd agree), but it's still a damn good sentence!

Also, I like books too! Perhaps not as much as this guy, but it's nice to see that kind of passion!

He continues, with a bit less aplomb:

Presently, in this day and at this time, I can report to you my fellow citizens; ignorance and conformity are alive and well in Fitchburg Massachusetts.

The mayor and the local City Council are planning on gutting the library and taking away the gift of literacy.

First, check out that semicolon. I have never been properly instructed in the use of a semicolon (it's a huge gap in my education), so color me impressed!

As for the substance; I can agree with the first sentence, but there's something fishy about the second one.

Yeah, cuts to the library would (will?) suck. I'd like to see the library funded as well as it can be. But "taking away the gift of literacy"? That's just silly. There are other ways to get reading material than just the library. They're just not as convenient or cheap. Then again, perhaps our author is just using hyperbole as a literary tool! So let's give him a pass for now.

Crap, it's a recurring theme:

In the United States of America, a nation that for the past 200 years has brought enlightenment and hope to this world, we are taking the power of the written word away from toddlers, preschoolers, grade-school students, middle-school students high-school students and college students.

Toddlers can read now? Dammit, kids are growing up so fast these days! And ummm... don't schools have libraries? Plus, bookstores and the internet still exist I think. Also, don't adults count for anything? We like literacy too!

Now to the apocalypse* with which he closes...

What I do know with any certainly [sic] is that the next brilliant mind of our generation is not going to come from Fitchburg Mass.

The young minds in our community, waiting to be inspired to greatness, will never get the opportunity because the body of all human knowledge; which can normally be found at your local public library, will not be available to them.

Oh Mr. Pretty-good-letter-writing-guy, what happened to you? I hope that typo is the fault of the paper and not you!

The hyperbole boat has capsized at this point (Note: that is a metaphor, another literary tool, which I am currently using in a confusing manner). Is there only one brilliant mind per generation?

Because if so, I'd say that it's a pretty safe bet that out of the 6.6 billion people in the world, Fitchburg won't be the home to that one brilliant person. No matter how good our library is. Still, I don't think you can take a reduction in library hours to mean the next brilliant mind is doomed if they happen to be growing up in Fitchburg.

Also, is it true that "the body of all human knowledge" is found at the Fitchburg Public Library? Frankly, it doesn't seem that big.

Still, these are minor quibbles!

The important part is we've discovered a guy who can write awesomely while also taking on some of the traits of the crazy people who can't write! He's a transitional form, like our Archaeopteryx friend up top!

Today may be a momentous day in the evolution of letter to the editor writing! Expect an increase in well-written letters from literate individuals, as environmental pressures cause the poorly-written letter writers to fade away. It's the dawning of a new age, people! Celebrate!


* Note: By "apocalypse" I obviously don't mean a Mad Max-style nuclear holocaust or anything like that. Rather, the apocalyptic letter-writer specializes in predicting some sort of negative effect that's totally disproportionate to the event purported to cause it. For instance, those who claim that a trash fee will lead to mountains of garbage all over town due to illegal dumping fit into my category of "apocalypse predictors."

Give me a gun!

Aside from being really good at Duck Hunt on my old NES, I don't have much experience with guns.

I've never used so much as a BB gun, nevermind something that actually shoots real bullets. It's not that I'm really anti-gun or anything, I've just never had the exposure. I do think hunters are giant fuckwads, but that's mostly because I think anyone who kills animals for fun is a fuckwad. I give more respect to someone who strangles cats for fun, because at least they risk scratches. If you want to hunt, have the balls to do it hand-to-hand.

But I've fallen off-topic. The topic being the delightful letter to the editor I just now happened across in the Sentinel. Its title is "Atrocities could be stopped if people were armed", and the basic premise is that tragedies like what happened at Virginia Tech could be avoided if everybody and their grandma were armed.

Umm... okay. Let met allow the editorialist to speak for himself:

These cowards attack schools, post offices, and other places like this because they know that there is no one there to oppose them. If a principal, or faculty member, or office manager was known to be armed, these people wouldn't dare to set foot in the place. Even if they were armed with non-lethal weapons, such as tasers or mace, it would be a deterrent. These cowards cannot function if they are opposed.

Right on! Let's make sure everyone in schools and post offices are armed! Because having guns in everyone's hands will certainly reduce gun violence! After all, fights never break out in schools. And that whole "going postal" phrase certainly wasn't coined after a rash of postal employees killing people with guns! Good idea, crazy person!

The writer also brings out this awesome argument:

Our politicians and other bleeding hearts with their heads in the sand can only say, pass more laws against guns and the problem will go away. Hitler used the same approach and look what happened to the population when he disarmed them. Ask any Jew how it feels to have storm troopers come into your home and drag you out or burn you out and steal all you have and put you to death at their whim.

Woo! Hitler-based arguments are the best!

I was going to take his advice and ask a Jewish friend of mine how it feels to have storm troopers come into her home and drag her out and kill her, but then it occurred to me that she was born in 1976. Shockingly, there are Jewish people who didn't go through the Holocaust! Beware if you try to follow this advice, "any Jew" might not do!

Anyway, making fun of letters to the editor becomes dull quickly, so I'll wrap this up with a final thought...

Arming everyone in the world may actually not be the best way to reduce gun violence. Also, people who write letters to the editor are almost universally morons.