Pointless Primary Provides Predictable Poutcome

So, yesterday's primary election for councilor-at-large is over. Ron Dionne lost, despite having a fancy book on city council procedures or something.

He probably shouldn't have spent his time on FATV whining about the former mayor and complaining that the primary cost thirty grand to get rid of one person. Instead, he should just have dropped out and saved the city thirty grand. Dumbfuck.

This outcome is surprising to nobody, especially if you read the psychic predictions of Mr. Lincoln.

Per the Sentinel, the breakdown went like this:

1. Stephan Hay
2. Thomas Conry
3. Marcus DiNatale
4. Dean Tran
5. Rosemary Reynolds
6. Michael DiPietro
7. Robin Streb
8. Dan Mylott
9. Stephen Seney
10. Robert Boutwell
11. Ron Dionne (eliminated)

Personally, I like exactly two people on this list (Streb and DiPietro, though I have a certain fond sympathy for Boutwell). It's depressing to see lunatic Rosemary Reynolds above them, but it's pretty nice to see Mylott and the deeply-irritating Seney down near the bottom.

Thus ends the obligatory boring-as-fuck post-pointless-primary post.

More people running for things!

Yeah, I've been really lazy about the blogging lately. Mostly, this is due to there being no interesting news (there's news, it's just dull) to write about. Today's news isn't super-interesting either, but at least it's something.

The "something" in question should be obvious from the title of this post. People are running for office in Fitchburg, so let's see who they are.

This information comes from the Sentinel & Enterprise, in this article. So who's running?

There are now 10 candidates running for the city's five councilor at-large seats, according to City Hall records.

Councilors Stephan Hay, Marcus DiNatale and Dean Tran have already signed in to run for reelection.

No surprise on any of those, though it's interesting to note that Tran is running for reelection as a City Councilor and not making a mayoral bid. Ditto for DiNatale. Guess the local anti-Wong crowd is going to be disappointed about that (which is fine with me, fuck those jerks!).

We already knew about some of these, though it appears that Conry's supposed reelection bid from that old post has been abandoned. He and Annie DeMartino are not seeking reelection. Councilor Solomito is, though he apparently hasn't filed the paperwork yet to get his name at the top of the article.

That old post also has a few names that appear in today's article. McNutt, Reynolds, Bernard, and Hartman were all previously mentioned.

Also previously mentioned is former mayor Dan Mylott, who is still in the "has pulled papers" stage and is taking his sweet time getting to the "candidate who will lose" stage. Oh well.

So, who are the newcomers?

New candidates that have filed papers within the last six weeks include Robert Boutwell, 57, a Longedge Avenue resident and former member of the Airport Commission.

Boutwell, who's also running for at-large councilor, said he wants to dig into the city finances.

"I believe at this point that everything needs to be looked at and reviewed," he said. "Reforms are needed in policies and procedures, and if at all possible, we need to do more with less."

Standard stuff, really, but that's about all we can reasonably expect at this point. Make with the websites, people!

Who else?

Linda Nicholopoulos, 55, will be running for councilor at-large after she's served on the Zoning Board of Appeals, the Planning Board, the Cultural Council and the Friends of Senior Center.

"I would like to promote a positive image of Fitchburg," Nicholopoulos said. "I've lived here for 31 years and I see the good in Fitchburg."

Nicholopoulos said her priorities would be public safety, the seniors and the schools if she gets elected.

Okay, that's fine. Positive images are nice, and Nicholopoulos has clearly devoted some time to public service already. Good for her.

Next!

Sprauge Street resident and current Planning Board member Michael DiPietro has also pulled papers to run for councilor at-large.

Well, that's sort of content-free. He's run before though, and here's how Jason at the now-defunct Save Fitchburg characterized him in a liveblog:

Michael DiPietro: Live-long resident, seen the good and the bad. Dad was a school teacher, grandfather long-time caretaker at Crocker Field. Wants to give back to the community... Wants to erase negativity and move Fitchburg forward. Nice... Financial issues: Conservative spending, encourage biz and residential development. Mentions city image again... Says one of the reasons people move here is the school system. Uh, that image adjustment can't come all at once, Michael... Says Fitchburg can be better than ever, and the "pre-eminent community in the Montachusett" area. Not too shabby.

Which sounds okay, though it's still standard "I'm running for office and not going to say too much" boilerplate.

So far, so boring. But here's where it gets interesting! Lovable leprechaun, former mayoral candidate, and personal favorite Ron Dionne is running for City Council!

Also running for councilor at-large is former mayoral candidate Ron Dionne.

Dionne said he would bring an "outsider" perspective.

"If this is going to turn around, it's going to turn around from an outsider perspective," he said. "Someone not in politics needs to get in and say this is the way to go."

Well, Dionne is certainly "someone not in politics"!

Will he spend more than 30 bucks on his campaign this time? Who cares? All that matters is that he's in the race, and I'm glad to see him.

We also get a bit more information on some of the people running, like this from Ward 4 candidate Ryan McNutt:

Other new candidates that have filed for election include Ryan McNutt, 32, who is running against incumbent Kevin Starr for the Ward 4 seat.

McNutt said he regularly attends City Council meetings and has worked as an intern in the mayor's office and Board of Health.

"I see things in Ward 4 where I live that really, seriously need to be addressed," McNutt said. "And I don't see any action or plan."

McNutt said, for example, he would like to see a "long-term plan" to address foreclosure issues on Elm and Marshall streets.

See all that new information? McNutt is 32! (Also the internship & meeting-attending stuff is new, I suppose.)

The rest is the standard stuff, as usual. He does have a pretty decent website up already though, which will be reviewed at a later date, once I'm sure Starr's website has been made current.

Who else?

Juan Rosado, 30, a Madison Street resident, is running against Ward 2 Councilor Norman Boisvert. He said he's lived in the city for six years and he wants to see more action to improve Cleghorn.

"We need to have a better environment for the kids," he said.

Oh man, a guy with an Hispanic name looking to improve Cleghorn? The local wingnuts are going to hate him. I don't think they're too crazy about kids either.

Personally, I like him if only because Boisvert sucks so badly. We'll have to see what he's all about later, though. A single non-controversial sentence in a S&E article isn't much to go on.

Here's something else from the article that I wasn't aware of:

Councilors serve two year terms and are paid $9,000 a year.

Man, that sucks ass. I knew they weren't paid much, but had somehow gotten it in my head that it was eleven or twelve grand. Nine is just terrible.

So there you have it! People, running for office. I'm going to put together a post in the near future listing everyone who's running and providing links to their websites, so if anybody knows where websites for these new candidates are, please give me a hand in the comments.

In the meantime, these are the people for you to stalk.

People are running for office!

Oh boy!

Yesterday we had the heartwrenching news that we lost the only challenger to Lisa Wong for mayor. Today, we find out that we in fact have gained a number of candidates for other positions in town.

Let's look at them, shall we?

First off, the city council races present us with both old and new faces.

Stephan Hay, Thomas Conry and Marcus DiNatale are all running for reelection to their at-large city council seats. You may or may not already have an opinion of these people.

For instance, you might see DiNatale as a grandstanding yet poorly-informed buffoon. Or you might not. It's up to you, citizens!

Besides the incumbents, we also have Rosemary Reynolds bringing the crazy church-lady vibe to the at-large council race. Here's what she had to say:

Reynolds, a former City Councilor, has said she filed papers to reinstitute morals in the chamber.

Sweet!

Now that Rachel's not running, I'm hoping Reynolds provides the batshit-insanity this election desperately needs. So far so good, but she really needs a crazy website to bring the fun home.

Also running for the at-large seat is someone named Stephen Hartman, who I know nothing about. Maybe he's awesome! Or maybe he's crazy! It's like a little mystery that we will hopefully explore later.

For the ward seats we have two people so far. Emilio Bernard is running for Ward 6. I don't know anything about Bernard either, but at least the paper has a little information about him.

Bernard, 48, is a native of Puerto Rico and moved to Fitchburg seven months ago. He said he wants to increase racial diversity in city government.

"I think there's a lot we can work on in our race relations," Bernard said. "If we can all look at it in a positive approach, we could help each other."

Racial diversity in city government would certainly be a good thing. Though we'll reserve judgment until he actually puts forward a platform of some sort.

One thing's for sure, though. Whatever his platform, the local mouth-breathing racist sacks of shit are going to hate him. A native of Puerto Rico who has only lived in Fitchburg for seven months and has an interest in improving race relations? That's scary stuff to a lot of Fitchburg's more idiotic residents. Not like what they say matters, but get ready to be depressed about the state of the world.

Moving on, the Ward 4 seat is being contested by Ryan McNutt, who was one of the people behind that civic engagement thing I mentioned last week.

I should disclose up front that I know Ryan socially. So I may not be totally objective on my otherwise-totally-objective-about-everything blog! I can at least say that he's disturbingly well-informed when it comes to political and local government stuff, and he can name all the presidents of the United States in order, off the top of his head! The president thing is probably not that useful for city council meetings, but it's still pretty neat.

You may also recall that former mayor Dan Mylott is running for a city council position. He hasn't gotten around to doing the paperwork yet, apparently. Make snide comments about that fact if you wish.

Finally, we have one guy running for School Committee, by the name of David Thibault-Munoz. Here's what he had to say to the S&E:

Thibault-Munoz, who works as a director for community outreach for the Twin City CDC, said he wants to create a better way for parents and students to participate and give input about school policies.

"I feel that I have my ear to the ground with both students and parents in the community," he said.

Well, that's fine. Website, please.

I think that's everyone. Lisa Wong will be seeking re-election, but hasn't filed yet. Presumably a number of the city councilors and school committee folks will be doing the same.

So there you have it. New people to examine. Old people to re-examine. Will they be boring? Will they be exciting? Nobody knows!

Okay, that's enough fake excitement for now.

Return of the Living Dead

Hey, guess who's running for City Council!

It's former mayor Dan Mylott! Though you may know him better as "the guy who got us into this mess."

Truth be told, I actually like Dan Mylott. As a person, that is. He's a friendly, pleasant guy. I wouldn't mind having lunch with him or something.

But he shouldn't have been mayor, and he shouldn't be on the City Council.

Neither should other old-guard member Rosemary Reynolds, who's also running.

Look, old people, you already had your chance and you fucked everything up. Now is the time to fade away as gracefully as possible, not to return as flesh-eating political demons, determined to scrape the last few morsels of protein from the bones of the city of Fitchburg.

Fitchburg currently has a very intelligent mayor. We have a city council that, while certainly imperfect, doesn't include anyone suffering from any major mental disorders (though I'm a little concerned about Tran).

These people are working on cleaning up the mess that was made by the old guard (which includes a few of the councilors). It's a huge job, because it was a huge fucking mess. It'll take time to fix.

That job will become vastly more difficult if the people who are responsible for the mess in the first place get involved. Especially if they seem unable to admit they're actually responsible for anything in the first place...

Mylott, who served 14 years as a city councilor and two years as a School Committee member before a six-year term as mayor that ended in 2007, said he wants to "continue the legacy" and said he misses city politics.

Oh yeah, that's a fucking great legacy you've got there, Dan. What part of it should actually be continued?

All of it, I guess:

Mylott said he thinks he did a "great job" as mayor and on the council.

Ack!

Rather than have my head explode, let's just move on...

Here's a really weird quote from Reynolds in the Sentinel article:

Former City Councilor Rosemary Reynolds has already filed nomination papers to run for an at-large seat.

"I hope to be a steady captain of the ship through these difficult morale [Sic] and economic times," Reynolds said.

I'm assuming that the "morale" in that quote is just the typical S&E illiteracy acting up, and the word she actually used was "moral."

But what a weird thing to say. Difficult economic times, sure, but what's so difficult morality-wise about these times?

The answer becomes obvious when you realize that Reynolds is an antiabortion loon and anti-gay bigot, who "can't separate prayer from [her] life". Hell, she was (is?) President of the Massachusetts chapter of "Democrats for Life" (which does not mean "lifelong Democrat").

Oh boy! Religious zealotry and an obsessive focus on trying to outlaw abortion (not to mention euthanasia, cloning, and embryonic stem cell research) is just what I want in an elected official!

Could we please get a few new candidates who aren't deeply delusional and/or outright crazy, please?

Seriously, I'll take almost anyone. Just don't be crazy, a failed politician from the past, subject to massive delusions about your own competence, or any combination of the above and you're virtually a shoo in. Or maybe somebody out there has a particularly clever pet they'd be willing to run?

Anyone?

Please?

Another Mayoral Website!

We suspected it was coming, and it's finally here! Ted DeSalvatore has a website! As part of my ongoing series of Mayoral candidate website critiques please follow me on a journey through www.ted4change.com!



First let me say that the only reason I found this site is that I was tipped off by a friend. Thanks friend!

Google was no help, since a simple search for "ted desalvatore" mayor brings up mostly blogs (this one included) and a couple Sentinel articles. (By comparison, the same search for Lisa Wong or Dan Mylott gives their sites as the first result.) As we'll see later, it's possible that DeSalvatore isn't happy about this lack of listing...

But on to the site. It has 5 pages, which puts it one ahead of Lisa Wong and four ahead of Dan Mylott. Also, each page is wonderfully reminiscent of the web circa-1995. An overabundance of different font colors and styles, weirdly-encoded images, images used where text could do the job, animated gifs, and so on. If only it had blinking text it would be a perfect recreation of how I remember the web in its early days (or Myspace now).

In fairness, maybe this is by design. He could in fact be trying to appeal to people who love Myspace. That would also explain why he used "ted4change.com" when the less stupid-looking "tedforchange.com" is perfectly available. Gotta appeal to all those text-messagers out there!

Ted's "History" page is as good a place as any to start.

First we learn this odd tidbit:

Ted was born in Rochester New York on July 7th, 1955. He grew up in the suburb of Greece, which today has about 90,000 residents. The City of Rochester and the surrounding communities as of the 2000 census, boasts 735,343 residents in 286,512 Households.

Well, my longstanding curiosity about the population of Rochester, NY has now been satiated! I can just imagine all the other mayoral candidates now scrambling to find census figures for towns they grew up near in case DeSalvatore brings them up in a debate.

One might think that would be the last bit of weirdness on the page, but one would be horribly wrong:

Ted attended Greece Arcadia High School and majored in math but needed a sport to keep him interested.

Now, it's been awhile since I've been in high school, but I don't recall ever being given the option to "major" in anything. Is this commonplace in the Greece school system? Also, not sure how good a move it is to say you "needed" a sport to keep interested in school. I could be mistaken, but I think most people would prefer a well-educated mayor to one who's good on the parallel bars.

I'm going to assume the "business owner" bit of this page is intended to fill the mysterious gap from the time he left the Army in 1976 to his teaching job begun in 1999. Not that he gives any exposition on his businesses, but they're physically located in that gap on the page. And calling yourself a "Business Owner" sounds better than writing "1977-1998: Dilettante" on a resume.

One does have to question the statement "I have no political baggage and therefore I am the only candidate that can effectively challenge those issues that give our city its poor reputation." First off, how does alienating virtually the entire city council, the police chief, and any number of others as Ward 4 councilor equate to "no political baggage"? That sounds like an awful lot of political baggage to me.

Anyway, there's also a picture of him and his wife looking out the porthole of a submarine, which is sweet:


Enough of that. Let's move on to the "Details" page!

This is about as close as he gets to a real listing of issues. The front page has some vague language about wanting to improve things, but here we get into the meat and bones. Sort of. But first we need to get past the self-aggrandizing bits:

Ted is the challenger who will implement the changes needed. In the face of exhaustive criticism and threats, Ted has continued to fight for our rights. Help us put back the “We” in We the people!” [sic]

All right...

So, what's DeSalvatore fighting for? Umm... well, here's what he's against...

Against! The Slumlords that nurture the environment for Gangs, Crime, and the Ruin of our inner-city neighborhoods. Slumlords must be held responsible!

Against! High Utility Rates & the Dual Tax Rate, causing reduced investments in commercial and industrial properties. [and so on...]

Okay, so he's for exclamation points and against a few other things. So what is he going to do about them?

Ted will bring an end to irresponsible spending and work hard to return lost services. Ted will encourage business growth by aggressively taking on the utility company, which creates a regional imbalance, robbing us of our competitiveness. Ted will institute a new approach to crime by addressing the environment through code enforcement, which will in turn support our local law enforcement officers, assisting in getting the job done.

Oh. He'll use vague language to fix the problems! Aggressively! Also, he'll further push his belief in the largely-discredited "Fixing Broken Windows" theory of crime reduction.

That's it for the issues, but there's a beautiful nugget of insanity on the bottom of the page. Recall how earlier I mentioned that I suspect DeSalvatore is upset that when searching Google for him you get mostly blogs and the Sentinel? Well, here's why:

Don’t believe everything you read in the newspapers or on the Blogs. Reporters don’t always have the greatest sense of context and the Blogger world is filled with character assassinators, having the mentality of pyromaniacs. If you ever have a question or wish a clarification, the best thing to do is ask me directly.

Basically what DeSalvatore is saying here is to ignore any independent reporting that mentions him, because they won't spin it they way he wants them to. Never mind the facts or reality of the situation, just ask Ted what you should think. I believe this is known as the "Bush/Cheney method" of dealing with the press.

Given his stance, it's a little odd that DeSalvatore doesn't just put what he thinks (with specifics, not just vague ideas about change and fighting) on the website. That would be a great way to avoid people having to find out about him from blogs and newspapers. Or it would be if they could find his website more easily.

Okay, last page now. The "Gallery" page. It's, um, a gallery. Mostly of trash cleanup and abandoned cars and stuff.

It's also interspersed with some funny bits of text, like this:

These [abandoned] vehicles like graffiti, trash, junked white goods and other ugly or concerning conditions, aid to the control of an area by its local thugs and gangs.

There you have it, gangs and "local thugs" exist because of littering! I'm all in favor of cleaning up trash, but I think that's a bit of a reach...

So what's the verdict on DeSalvatore's website? Well, it's better than Dan Mylott's. Not as good as Lisa Wong's. Also, it exists. Which puts it ahead of Donnelly's and Dionne's.

Unfortunately, it really doesn't address the issues and focuses mostly on the vague concept of "change" and DeSalvatore's self-styled outsider/rebel image. On the plus side, it has plenty to make fun of, but on the minus side it has very little real substance to it. Which puts it closer to Mylott's site than Wong's (which is not huge on substance, but does have a decent "Issues" page).

So there you have it, three websites down and two left to appear (hopefully).

Now I'm off to go set something on fire! Cheers!

Mayoral candidate websites are fun!

As a public service (and because I'm bored at work), I hereby bring you a critique of the websites of the mayoral candidates. This will be a short preview, because I couldn't find websites for three of the five announced candidates. If anybody knows where they are (if they even exist) please pass them along. In the meantime, enjoy!

• Mayor Dan Mylott - www.mylott.com:
  
  
  Well, it's almost a website. It has a picture of the mayor and a bunch of signs. It also has old news that he's running for mayor, and a slick babelfish translation button at the bottom so you can try to translate it from French to German (doesn't work), or read the page in what I assume would be badly mangled Japanese.
  
  Here's his catchy slogan to illustrate:
  
  Sweet...
  
  Oddly, that's it. There are no active links on the page at all. Nothing about issues. No list of qualifications. Nothing.
  
  Well, unless you dig into the actual html, where you can find the old links commented out. It appears this website is just recycled from the Mayor's 2001 campaign. As evidence, here's the image beneath Dan's picture on the front page:
  
  Compare to the image in the same spot on every other page:
  
  Now, there's nothing wrong with updating an old campaign website for your current campaign, but sheesh Dan, at least put something on the new site!
  
  For a trip down memory lane, here are the old pages no longer linked to:
  News & Events
  "Where Dan Stands"
  "Dan's Biography"
  More news, apparently
  Old gallery of funny pictures
  
  Now, I'm sure that Mayor Mylott could at least update his Biography. Plus I'm willing to bet he might still stand for something or other. Maybe all that information is out in the media, but it's beyond me why he's not making his own case. C'mon, Mr. Mayor, give us something new!


• Lisa Wong - www.votelisawong.com:
  
  
  
  Lisa Wong's website when it first came online was embarrassing. A single page of mostly white space with a weird-ass slogan and very little of anything else on it. Mylott's page above was superior in comparison, which is pretty sad.
  
  Happily, they've switched places. Where once Mylott had a real site that turned into one page, Wong's one page has turned into a real (four page!) website. The new site is in place now and it's much better. It still has its quirks (it would probably be good to rename the main page to something other than "Page 1" for instance), but it's at least got some substance to it now. For instance, there's this awesome picture of her and her brothers preparing for a formal-dress game of "Red Rover":
  
  
  
  Aside from the charming family photos, there's actually a pretty in-depth Issues page. I won't bother quoting it here, but overall it's a pretty decent list of what Wong hopes to do as mayor. As such, it may be more of a "plans" page than an "issues" page, but at least it's not an annoying "What Lisa Stands For" page.
  
  I'm also going to go out on a limb and bet that Lisa actually made this website herself. Why? Because the title of the "meet Lisa" page is actually "ABOUT ME". Aha!
  
  This isn't a bad thing, though. There are zero cases of "it's" being used when "its" should have been, nor are there problems with "insured" versus "ensured". This automatically makes Wong a better writer than 95% of the people on the internet. Which is obviously a qualification you want in a mayor.
  


• Ted DeSalvatore - not really...:
  
  
  I don't know if Ted DeSalvatore has a real website hidden away somewhere. After all he's a computer guy right? Or if my suspicions are correct and this is his LinkedIn profile, a "Computer Service & Support Training Specialist". Either way, a dude who should have a website.
  
  But no, once again I've linked to the hilariously incomplete Team to Elect DeSalvatore's contact form. Incidentally, if you're an obnoxious blogger who perpetually makes fun of Ted they probably won't want to hear from you, even if you try to be nice.
  
  Regardless, it's not really Ted's site so it doesn't count in the grand total.
  
  UPDATE 7/18/07: He's got one now! Review is here
  


• Ronald Dionne - ?:
  No website I could find, but I don't think anyone gives him much chance anyway. He could better his chances with a bit of self promotion on the web, perhaps. But then people might have to give him more of a chance.


• Tom Donnelly - ?:
  I couldn't find a website for him either. Probably he's just too big a pussy to make one.
  
  UPDATE 8/3/07: Not so! Review is here

There you have it, your handy "Progressive Fitchburg Guide to Mayoral Campaign Websites, Featuring the Unicow". Now back to work.

Huh?

A friend has alerted me to a particularly confusing quote in this Fitchburg Pride article.

It's a pretty boring article about the opening of a supermarket. Not the sort of thing I'd normally even read. But get this:

"There are trees around, so it is not just a black wasteland," said Mayor Dan Mylott standing outside of the store. "The back is as nice as the front because the parking garage is back there, it is a beautiful place to be."

A black wasteland? What the fuck?

I had several thoughts when reading this particular quote. First I pictured a post-apocalyptic wasteland, a la Mad Max. Dan Mylott was a mohawked road warrior who found a tree in the middle of the vast desert and for one brief moment brought his deathmobile to a stop just so he could get out and gaze at it in awe.

However, it turns out that despite Fitchburg's woes, it isn't actually a Mad Max-ish post-apocalyptic wasteland...

Next, I thought that perhaps he actually said "a blank wasteland," meaning of course a wasteland without any trees in its parking lot. Which would mean Fitchburg Pride either made a typo (unheard of!) or misheard him.

Alternately, this could mean that perhaps he really wanted to say "a motherfucking wasteland" and replaced "motherfucking" with "blank" in order to appear more mayoral. Sort of a self-bleeping mechanism...

But when you look at the larger quote, it also appears our mayor thinks that a parking garage is "a beautiful place to be."

Now, I've been in a lot of parking garages. Not once have I looked around and thought "Gee, this sure is a beautiful place to be!" Usually I'm just trying to figure out where the fuck I parked so I can leave as quickly as possible.

The only conclusions one can really reach from this quote is that the mayor is either really easily impressed by strip malls and parking lots, lies (unheard of for a politician!), or is drunk all the time.

Yeah, he should do great in the next election...

Doesn't play well with others.

In what will come as a surprise to no one, Ted DeSalvatore is not very popular with his peers.

Two city councilors say that Ward 4 Councilor Ted E. DeSalvatore is a divisive force on the council, and works to advance his own interests, not those of the city.

But DeSalvatore said the opposite is true: It is the other councilors who take issue with him, and who advance personal agendas.

Here, DeSalvatore is utilizing the "I know you are but what am I?" strategy of debate. Well done, Ted!

"I have grown tired of (DeSalvatore's) implications that his fellow councilors' actions are always of a political nature, while his actions and intentions are always so noble. I see things very differently," Ward 5 Councilor Stephan Hay said during Tuesday's City Council meeting.

Hay and Councilor at-large Thomas Conry both spoke Tuesday night, and disputed DeSalvatore's claims -- printed in a newspaper article last week -- that councilors made "backdoor deals" prior to choosing a new councilor Tuesday night.

"I find this insulting and untrue," Hay said. "Since this process began, I have not been asked by one councilor other than Mr. DeSalvatore to vote for a specific individual. And Councilor DeSalvatore did not ask me to vote for someone; he told me who I should vote for."

The quoted remarks "were false, contained innuendoes and pure suppositions," Conry said.

So, contrary to the "backdoor deals" innuendo previously published (by this same newspaper, natch), apparently the only person trying to rig the election of a new councilor was Ted himself.

At least Ted's honest about one thing:

DeSalvatore acknowledged that tension exists between him and other councilors.

Too bad he thinks it's because he's Sir Galahad and they're a bunch of demons out to steal his Grail (yes, that's a strained metaphor).

"There is a core group that will stand against me because they don't like the way I haven't fallen into place," he said.

Here's a little lesson in human relations, Ted. The other councilors "stand against you" because you do things like slander them to the local bootlick press, not because you're some kind of dashing maverick.

Additionally, it's just conceivable that they disagree with you because all of your ideas are profoundly stupid. Perhaps they'd like to see the town become a better place and are frustrated at having to drive over the speed bump of your ideas to get there.

While I may not be crazy about Dan Mylott as a mayor, I do like his statement.

"Things have been said about the council that are not true," Mylott said.

He added that he hopes DeSalvatore will "start to moderate those loud utterances that really don't make a lot of sense."

I believe that would be all of DeSalvatore's utterances, Mr. Mayor.

While the Sentinel's article focused rightfully on Ted being a dick, the new weekly paper Fitchburg Pride (providing a conservative weekly alternative to the conservative daily paper) focused their website's "Breaking News" for Wednesday pretty much exclusively on Mylott. Perhaps saying anything substantial about Ted's social problems makes them less proud.

The paper named after a high-school pep rally ran the headline "Mylott stands by comments critical of DeSalvatore" and the body of the article contained this:

Mayor Dan Mylott stood behind comments that were made last night by councilors Stephan Hay and Thomas Conry, Jr. towards fellow councilor Ted DeSalvatore. Last week, DeSalvatore said he thought councilors were colluding to select a replacement for an empty City Counicl [sic] seat.

"It is causing dissention [sic] among councilors," said Mylott.

He responded to comments people have made about backroom politics among council members, saying it is not true, and that councilors are open about their opinions. DeSalvatore is considered a likely candidate for mayor, as is the three-term Mylott.

The rest of the article dealt primarily with Mylott's plan to fine delinquent "industrial wastewater users", whatever they are.

Thank god we have an alternative press in Fitchburg!

Are DeSalvatore's plans for a mayoral run in trouble? I really doubt it. This is a man who fancies himself an "outsider", surely he couldn't care less if he has the ability to behave with civility towards the people he'd have to work with as Mayor. Surely he can get more done going it totally alone, right?

Of course, some voters may recognize that it would be unwise for a mayor to constantly make an ass of himself and alienate people like the city council and the chief of police. At least I hope so.

Exploration time!

Good news, everyone! The "exuberant" Ted DeSalvatore has formed an exploratory committee to look into running for mayor!

"It's a question of making sure, that's all," DeSalvatore said Friday.

"There seems to be an incredible outpouring to have me run for mayor, from the community," he said. "The exploratory committee has the task at hand of making sure that what we're hearing is in fact the truth, and not just the figment of the imagination of a number of people."

Well, I can answer that even without a committee.

There's a subset of people in Fitchburg who think Ted DeSalvatore is the cat's pajamas. A small subset. They're the ones with the good imaginations. They're also noisy. There's another subset that thinks he's an embarrassment to the city. Also a small subset. Less noisy, but more sane. Then there's a whole lot of people out there who have no idea who he is or what he thinks. It's those people he'd have to win over to become mayor.

Of course, that's easier said than done. Every time he opens his mouth something stupid comes out, and once he's officially a mayoral candidate more people are going to start to pay attention. At that point they'll realize he'd make a much better cartoon character than he would a mayor. A well-informed voting public is not Ted's friend.

But city residents have urged him to run, saying that "crime is out of control" and "the city has absolutely lost its friendliness," the councilor said.

Well, having an unfriendly city sure is problematic. I don't really see how you can blame that on the mayor though. I'd blame the weather. And the racially divisive marches.

As for crime, it certainly is slightly higher than in neighboring Leominster. But "out of control"? We're lower than the state average overall, though we do rank higher than the state average for violent crime. Let's call it a tossup. Crime could always be lower.

Of course, a mayor generally has to work well with the Chief of Police to do anything about crime. Given DeSalvatore's extremely rocky relationship with Chief Cronin I'm not sure that places him as the best man for the job. Maybe he'll just take his vigilanteism to the next level and run around town in his Bat-Mayor costume to deal with crime personally.

In other news, Dan Mylott is also going to run for mayor again. Which is no great surprise, but hardly the stuff excitement is made of. While Mylott seems like he means well (the same can be said of DeSalvatore), he's just not proven himself to be a very effective mayor. He does have the benefit of experience and name recognition that DeSalvatore lacks (despite Ted's incessant publicity stunts), but there are also plenty of people who will vote for "anyone but Mylott" in the upcoming race.

Let's hope some more people get involved. Anyone, please.


However, one word of warning to any potential candidates named "Matthew" or "Matt". My trolls have taken time off from tossing Ted DeSalvatore's salad to warn me they won't be voting for you because they think you're me (yes, all of you). Apparently when my parents gave me the ninth most popular boy's name of 1975 they didn't count on the possibility that I would one day have a blog about local politics. Go figure.

Former city councilor Matt Straight is in particular trouble, since apparently it's hard for people who've gone off their Haldol to differentiate between us. Of course, he has bigger problems.

What this all means to you unfortunate Matts and Matthews is you potentially may lose up to three votes from people who would have voted for DeSalvatore anyway. Try not to lose any sleep over that.

On a side note: In an attempt to limit future confusion caused by my having one of the most popular names of the last century I will now be writing under the pseudonym of "The Unicow". Hopefully nobody was planning on voting for her anyway. Although she just may be the best choice we have right now.