Yes, Britney Spears' house has been... trespassed... against(?). We must follow this story, as it is perhaps the most important news item of our lifetimes!
Here's the news, which I reiterate is very important.
Miranda Tozier-Robbins, 26, a longtime former Fitchburg resident, said she knew going onto pop star Britney Spears' Los Angeles County property was illegal, but she did it anyway.That's not enough information! I must know more about the home of this talentless crime against music! Is it ok? Were flowers trampled? Was the grass stayed-off-of?
"I went in through the back yard, to the gate, it was unlocked and open already," said Tozier-Robbins. "I was just sort of like on cloud nine being in Britney Spears' backyard."
Security personnel on Spears' property quickly found Tozier-Robbins and LA Sheriff's deputies arrested her and charged her with trespassing and disorderly conduct.
[blah blah blah pointless nonsense]
*See Saturday's edition of the Sentinel & Enterprise for complete coverage.*
Luckily, they'll fill us in on all the details tomorrow.
But... hold on... oh my god!
GODDAMN YOU, MCMENEMY! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO HIDE???