Thursday, April 02, 2009

Redneck Grand Jury Indicts Obama!

Wow, it's hard to even know where to start with this.

It's a WorldNetDaily (known to some as WorldNutDaily, WingNutDaily, etc.) article about various people who are trying to use legal challenges to get rid of B. Hussein Obama (known to some as "The Usurper").

It's a boring article that's not worth reading, except for the awesome part about these wacky rednecks who created their own grand jury in order to... ummm... subvert the government?
Georgia resident Carl Swensson, whose work is detailed on his Rise up for America website[*], told WND he got tired of the issues over Obama's eligibility, as well as his performance in office.

"I took it upon myself to find as many patriots as I could across the state, for the purpose of seating 25 for a grand jury," he said.
What is it with crazy conservatives wanting so desperately to be a part of the legal system while at the same time not understanding a damn thing about it?

It's bad enough having to deal with all these dipshits who think that taxation is unconstitutional, now we actually have to deal with people trying to use the fucking Magna Carta to depose the president. Seriously.
Swensson cites on his website as authority for the grand jury the Magna Carta, the bill of rights that formed the foundation of British common law on which U.S. law is based.
See, the Magna Carta gave barons the right to depose the king if they could get 25 of them to agree to do so.

Obviously there's no difference at all between 13th century British nobility and a bunch of pigfuckers in 21st century Georgia, or between an elected president and a hereditary monarch, so the legal argument is totally sound!
He said the members were chosen, sworn in and observed all of the rules of procedure. Swensson declined to elaborate on the specific allegations about Obama, telling WND that remains confidential at this point because of the possibility of a prosecution.
Well, that's disappointing. But the mention of "eligibility" makes it pretty obvious that this is at least in part about Obama's birth certificate.

Apparently the same detachment from reality that makes people think that Obama is a space alien also makes them believe that there's an actual possibility of this wingnut masturbation fantasy resulting in a prosecution. I wish there were, because it would be incredibly funny to watch.

Be careful, though! These "patriots" mean business!
However, the website explanation of the procedure includes some intimidating language.

"If the government does not amend the error within 40 days after being shown the error, then the four members shall refer the matter to the remainder of the grand jury," it says. "The grand jury may distrain and oppress the government in every way in their power, namely, by taking the homes, lands, possessions, and any way else they can until amends shall have been made according to the sole judgment of the grand jury."
Let me translate that from the legalese for you. Here's what they're actually saying:
"If the government doesn't kick B. Hussein Obama (A.K.A. Barry Soetoro) out of the presidency and back to Islamistan in 40 days, then we're going to take over. When we take over we will throw a giant fit, and seize your trailers, trailer parks, NASCAR collectible mugs, and anything we can fit in the back of our pickups."
Them's fightin' words!

I really, really hope they follow through with their threats. The government must see the light, or these brave patriots will be forced to overthrow it!

All 25 of them.

* You absolutely must go to that website. They start by spelling the president's name wrong in the page title, and it just gets funnier from there on out!