Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Fitchburg Needs Hero Ted?

Yesterday there was an article in the Telegram about Ted DeSalvatore. Part of their candidate profiling thingy. It was called Campaign tackles crime, property values, ‘perks’ and was crazy hilarious!

Just look at the opening:
Ted E. DeSalvatore says he came to the city because he was looking for a place that needed him.
Oh my. Ted, your ego is remarkable. Perhaps there is a place that needs you, but I'm pretty sure it's not Fitchburg. Maybe you could go to Iraq? They can use all the help they can get. And they have "thugs"!

Moving on, the article gives his background, including his imaginary job that I discussed already. So let's just skip that bit and move forward to some crazy-ass logic!
The Back Streets Association, which he formed, was his attempt to create a grass-roots organization that would unite residents against the “thugs.” However he said that when people criticized the organization as being a front for his aspirations for mayor, he disbanded it so volunteers could continue their work unfettered from his reputation.
Umm... that doesn't make any sense.

I'll admit right now that I don't know that much about the history of the Back Streets Association. I know he founded it with Clark Patterson (his campaign manager), and the claims about the BSA being a front for his mayoral aspirations can be found here. To quote from there:
[DeSalvatore] stated, as though I already was aware (which I had not been), that the purpose of the Back Streets Association was to form a "grassroots group" that would endorse him for mayor "when the time is right." I told DeSalvatore that that is a specifically prohibited purpose of a 501(c)3 organization, and he stated that "I will bow out and turn it over to the directors and just stay in the background."

Perhaps this is just an artifact of the reporting style, but focus on the statement in the article: "he said that when people criticized the organization as being a front for his aspirations for mayor, he disbanded it so volunteers could continue their work unfettered from his reputation."

Notice anything funny? I did! He never said it wasn't a front for his aspirations for mayor! Isn't that the sort of claim you'd want to debunk? Unless you couldn't debunk it, because it was true and you stupidly went around telling people as much.

Even stranger is this concept of disbanding a group "so volunteers could continue their work unfettered from his reputation". What the fuck?

Let's say you're involved in an organization you really believe in, with important volunteer work to do. Then let's say you're sort of a jackass and cause trouble for the group because your reputation is so bad. What do you do?

A sane person would recognize they're hurting the cause and personally leave the organization. They would not disband the organization! A disbanded organization doesn't continue its work! It's disbanded!

Oh, but if the organization is secretly a front group for your mayoral campaign that doesn't work. Because they don't have anything to do if you quit. So disbanding makes sense in that case.

Enough of that, let's move on:
He said clean streets and safe neighborhoods around the downtown will likely mean a change in demographics for the area.

“If it happens, I’m successful … I’d be a hero,” he said about gentrification. “People will have to move where they can find lower-cost housing.”
Ted, you make it too easy. The last panel of my old crappy political cartoon was supposed to be satire, not a disturbingly accurate representation of how you think of yourself!

I loved that the reporter used the word "gentrification". It has almost universally negative connotations, and DeSalvatore is under the delusion that people will praise him if he achieves it!

It's bad enough that he basically wants to eliminate any minorities or poorer members of the community, but to think he'd be a hero for it is just ridiculous. The town is 15% Latino, generally not a population that's crazy about the idea of gentrification.

Humorously, DeSalvatore also gives his reason for moving here as being "It was what we could afford." So if he were successful in gentrifying the town I suppose he'd have to move out of it. Certainly if it had been that way when he was looking for a place to live we wouldn't have to deal with his bullshit now. Not that I support gentrification at all, I'm just saying maybe there's one upside.

One last bit, about moving social services off Main St and into his imaginary community center that he's never provided specifics about and probably doesn't really intend to do:
“We have to care,” he said. “I can’t fix people. But I want to help.”
Oh my god, he wants to neuter people!

Anyway, the guy's a nut. Primary election, hurry up!


Donna said...

This is a great post. The article in the Telegram today is about Lisa Wong. Will we have your commentary on that article?

Erica said...

I'm glad, Unicow, that you realized commentary on Ted's article was a priority over whatever "real job" obligations you might have. Hopefully, after 9/25 (and if not by 11/6, the "for sale" sign is going up at my house), Ted will no longer be in the news because he'll have left Fitchburg with his tail between his legs. [My apologies to dogs everywhere for potentially insulting them with the metaphor.] So a thorough analysis of yesterday's article can be considered a limited time opportunity that you simply couldn't pass up.

The Unicow said...

Probably not today. I've made two posts a day for the last two days, and I need to get other stuff done! Also, I tend to agree with Lisa, which makes writing something worth reading much more difficult. Crazy people are way easier to write about!

Luckily, I work with little to no supervision. Or neglect to work, as the case may be.

I too am looking forward to a time when Ted will only be mentioned in conversations that begin "Hey, remember that crazy guy who ran for mayor?" and I won't have to spend so much time debunking him. I just hope that when he loses he doesn't flip out and start a militia or something.

brian said...

I find myself wondering what city full of "perks" Ted lives in. Is it just the cars? That is such a non issue - such typical Republican distraction tactics - I wonder if Ted will pass a flag burning statute if elected.

It is a 96 million budget that is being mismanaged and the real solution is proper management. Not "perks".

You think Ted will move when get gets, as Barack Obama would say, spanked?

The Unicow said...


I'm betting on one of the following happening when Ted loses:

1) He moves out of town, "tail between his legs" as Erica said.
2) He stays in town and gets even louder and more annoying and keeps running for mayor every two years. Maybe forms some new group to support him.
3) He gives up politics and joins the mafia.
4) He sits on his front porch in his underpants and yells at people who pass by.
5) He goes super-crazy and does something dangerous to himself and/or others.

Hopefully he'll do the smart thing and stick with #1. Though I do expect him to come up with a conspiracy theory to explain any loss he suffers.

brian said...

I'd rather not think about anything between Ted's legs, thanks Erica.

1970s Abraham Lincoln said...

Or #6: He runs as a write-in candidate to hold on to his Ward 4 seat.

JustSayNoToDeSalvo said...

abe said "Or #6: He runs as a write-in candidate to hold on to his Ward 4 seat."

News flash. He couldn't muster 50 votes in Ward 4. The majority of his opposition has come from people who supported his ward campaign who have had a snootful of him.

fitchburg-shuffle said...

Write in? You must be kidding!

That crap worked a few years ago because he had a solid base of people who bought in to his bullshit and didn't know him well enough yet. The fact that there was only one reasonable candiate in the preliminary, Linda, made it easy to make it to the general election.

Remember, he was too stupid to get enough valid signatures and people actually liked him. I'd be willing to bet that 60-80% of those folks would rather watch their grandparents make a porno than waste a precious vote on Ted. I'm one of those people.

Six days and 2 1/2 hours until the realtor gets a call!

fitchburg-shuffle said...

At least one of the Ward 4 candiates is running because he wanted to run against DeSalvatore!

1970s Abraham Lincoln said...

He couldn't muster 50 votes in Ward 4.
Write in? You must be kidding!

Uh, this is Fitchburg. We elected a sock salesman. Twice.

At least one of the Ward 4 candiates is running because he wanted to run against DeSalvatore!

I would guess that probably all of them wanted to run against DeSalvatore. They're all pretty uninspiring, and I would bet that a fair number of general election voters vote on name recognition alone.

Blog readers and posters are a pretty narrow segment of the population here... I don't think that the average person on the street is aware of anything beyond what is reported in the paper, and I would guess that probably most are even oblivious to that. Ted could probably pick up his old seat if he tried, or maybe one of the at-large spots.

ReallyRachel said...

1970s abraham lincoln said ... "don't think that the average person on the street is aware of anything beyond what is reported in the paper ... Ted could probably pick up his old seat if he tried, or maybe one of the at-large spots."

I would venture to say that 99 44/100 percent of the ward 4 voters who wrote this guy in and supported him are perfectly aware of the disaster he has been as ward councilor. And I would also venture to say that 99 percent of THEM would leave the space blank rather than vote for this evil nutjob.

Look around. Other than a couple of cops who have been promised stuff, and a couple of little old ladies who think he's cute, and a couple of folks who don't grasp the nuances of the English language well enough to understand what he's calling them, the TED signs are gone, kaput.

He is worse than a joke in his own ward. People spit when they hear his name to get the bad taste out of their mouths.

SayNo is being generous with 50 votes out of ward 4. I say less than a dozen.

He has become pathetic. His big event this weekend at Saima Park will demonstrate that.

Tuesday can't come soon enough.


1970s Abraham Lincoln said...

Rachel, I admire your optimism.

The Unicow said...

I agree with 70's Lincoln. Whether Ted would win as a write-in for Ward 4 I don't know, but I can definitely imagine him trying.

Ted's already got an organization behind him which is arguably more powerful than anything the other Ward 4 candidates have (and they're a pretty sorry bunch anyway). The TED is going to have nothing to do after a loss in the primary, so why not try to get Ted back in Ward 4? He could just buy some magic markers and change all the signs, it's not like he doesn't have free time.

I doubt he'd win, but then again I thought the same thing about Joe Lieberman after he lost the democratic primary in Conn.

Regardless, I can definitely imagine Ted trying to hold on to whatever scrap of power he can.

fitchburg-shuffle said...


I respectfully disagree with your comments regarding the Ward 4 candiates. Two of those guys, I feel would make a good councilor. One is a local business owner and the other has been involved with the city, through his father, since he was in kindergarten. Both are college graduates, even if it is FSC.

I only met one of them, and he's quite impressive. I don't impress easily. I can spot a bullshit artist a mile away. He seemed quite sincere.

Have you met any of the candiates personally? I'd be willing to bet that Seney and Starr would be happy to respond to any questions that you may have.

1970s Abraham Lincoln said...

I only met one of them, and he's quite impressive. I don't impress easily. I can spot a bullshit artist a mile away. He seemed quite sincere.

I'm guessing you met Starr, because I've met the other two and "impressive" is not a word that comes to mind. And it's kind of ironic, because the first thing I thought when I saw Starr on FATV was, "Oh, great, a bullshit artist". I'm still voting for him, though, because Seney is ideologically indistinguishable from Ted.

fitchburg-shuffle said...

I know his father and have met him several times. Nice guy. I just got his handout today. Looks like family values are making a comeback!

ReallyRachel said...

I deleted a much longer post (applause) ... but want to drop a quick line.

I'm impressed with Starr. He's honest but no dummy, he's idealistic but not naieve, he's a lifelong Fitchburger but has a broad perspective, he knows Ward 4, he knows what works and what's been tried that hasn't worked, he's a former teacher and understands the school system, its politics and its budget.

Bottom line: This guy gets it and he's in this for the right reason.

This is the next generation's turn, and Starr is a perfect one to pick up the torch.

Disclosure: I asked him for a sign before he made the decision to run.