Friday, October 31, 2008

Fuck you, North Carolina

Well, I guess I can add North Carolina to the list of states where I'm not welcome.

Apparently the big political issue there is how much atheists suck. Here's Elizabeth Dole's attack ad on Kay Hagan.

In keeping with the way people always do these things, I ask you to replace atheists in that ad with Jews, or Christians, or Zoroastrians, or whatever belief system it is you follow.

If we use Judaism, it would go something like this:
Scary Voiceover: "A leader of the Jewish Americans PAC recently held a secret fundraiser in Kay Hagan's honor."

Jewish Lady: "Jesus was just a man. Not the son of God."

Scenes of Bill O'Reilly asking Jewish man if he accepts Christ's divinity, to which Jewish man responds "no".

Scary voiceover: "Jewish Americans and Kay Hagan. She hid from cameras. Took Jewish money. What did Hagan promise in return?"

Mystery voice: "I'm a Jew!"
Yeah, that wouldn't make it to air.

Nor would it make it to air if they used Christians. It might make it to air if they used Muslims, but would probably get a lot of criticism.

But hey, attacking atheists is fine! Kay Hagan doesn't even seem to have a problem with it, she just doesn't want our dirty godless cooties rubbing off on her.

Gee, thanks Kay. That "bearing false witness against fellow Christians" thing sure sucks.

Hey, you know what else sucks? Bearing false witness against anybody!

It would have been really nice if Hagan had had the strength of character to point out that there's nothing wrong with atheists. That we're citizens and we vote and there's absolutely nothing wrong with hanging out with us or taking our "godless money".

You know, sort of like how Colin Powell's pointed out that there's nothing wrong with being Muslim. It shouldn't be a smear to be called a Muslim, nor should it be a smear to be called an atheist.

It's also worth noting that atheists in this country outnumber Jews and Muslims put together. We may not be the best group to piss off if you want votes.

Fuck it, I'm going to go watch that bikini video again.