Thursday, October 23, 2008

God planning to tamper with the polls!

Oh Sarah Palin, will you ever stop being ridiculous? Probably not, but at least after November 4th we won't have to hear about it anymore.

In the meantime, we get great stuff like this story about an interview Palin did with James Dobson, of Focus on the Family.

Here's a fun quote!
Dobson asked the vice presidential hopeful if she is concerned about John McCain’s sagging poll numbers, but Palin stressed that she was "not discouraged at all."

"To me, it motivates us, makes us work that much harder," she told the influential Christian leader, whose radio show reaches millions of listeners daily. "And it also strengthens my faith because I know at the end of the day putting this in God’s hands, the right thing for America will be done, at the end of the day on Nov. 4."
Okay, let me see if I understand this correctly.

So according to Palin, if when Obama wins on November 4th, it will be because God is doing "the right thing for America"? So Palin believes that even God thinks she's totally unqualified and ridiculous? Man, that gotcha media sure must have hurt her self-esteem!

Ha ha of course that's not what she thinks. She thinks her bearded buddy in the sky will actually intervene to subvert the democratic process and give her and McCain the victory.
She also thanked her supporters — including Dobson, who said he and his wife were asking "for God’s intervention" on election day — for their prayers of support.

"It is that intercession that is so needed," she said. "And so greatly appreciated. And I can feel it too, Dr. Dobson. I can feel the power of prayer, and that strength that is provided through our prayer warriors across this nation. And I so appreciate it."
So is God going to change the minds of people who would otherwise vote for Obama, thereby subverting the whole concept of "free will," or is he going to just tamper with the ballots and/or voting machines?

I don't know which makes more sense. Vote tampering might leave a trail that could make God's sneaky intervention all for naught. There's no point in miraculous vote tampering if you're just going to get caught. If that happens, people might start questioning your omnipotence, and you're already losing adherents as it is.

However, a mind-control ray would have serious theological implications for free will. It would also basically put Yahweh on the same moral ground as your typical supervillain, except without the hollowed-out mountain lair. Which might be okay, because that's basically what his Old Testament shenanigans were all about anyway. He probably misses the old days.

Artist's rendering of God's mind control ray.

I'm no theologian, so I can't really say which way God will choose to go on this matter.

But one thing is certain: The best thing that Republicans can do on November 4th is stay home praying all day. Voting's not going to help a bit. Your only chance is to stay on your knees all day, repeatedly asking your sky-buddy to change the outcome.

Do it for Sarah!